All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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