I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
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I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
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one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
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