You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
