You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Randomize
