Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Randomize
