Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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