Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Randomize
