i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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