How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
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