Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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