how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
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I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
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Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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