She said her name was "party"
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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