I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
