I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
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