You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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