it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
