Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
