Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Randomize
