okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
