he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
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