She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Randomize
