You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
