So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
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