my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
