Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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