you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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