is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
And then he peed in my hair
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