No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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