That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
