Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
You are a genius and a whore.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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