Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Randomize
