Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize