found the other keg... it's in the tree
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Randomize
