Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
