So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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