I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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