I hate your face
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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