Don't make out with my wife yet
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
im calling her cock vulture from now on
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
