Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
