Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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