I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Randomize
