shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
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And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
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Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
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