Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Randomize
