Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Randomize