3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
