wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
FUCK WHALES
Randomize
