My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
I currently don't understand fingers.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
