And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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