is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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