Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize