I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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