where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I just want nice things and good sex
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize