I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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