I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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