Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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