"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Randomize
