Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
If I die, sorry about rent.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
